Foss
Wallyfoss@btinternet.com
Fold in the Hills 10
foldin10.txt
Group
mf, mmf, ff, novel

CHAPTER TEN

Once at the court house, on a cold January day and waiting for her name to be
called, she watched as Tim approached and stood against the wall some distance
from where she was sitting.

"Keep your nerve," said Olwen. "He can't hurt you any more."

Sarah looked at him as he stared down at his feet and she felt a sudden and
overwhelming feeling of sympathy for him and, without a word to anyone, she got
to her feet and walked over to him.

He lifted his head and watched her approach with some apprehension.

"How are you, Tim?"

"I'll be better when today's over," he answered with a thin smile. "And you? Are
you bearing up?"

"Well enough. Are you on your own?"

"Yes, the fewer the better as far as I'm concerned."

He looked over towards Olwen before reaching into his pocket, lighting a
cigarette and blowing the smoke towards the ceiling.

"I see your fan club's here in strength."

"Don't Tim. Let's at least part as friends, or at least on friendly terms."

"Don't worry, Sarah, I'm not going to make trouble. I've admitted adultery, so
it's just how greedy you intend to be."

"That's an awful thing to say! I want nothing that isn't mine, Tim, plus half of
the value of our house and savings. I'm owed that much, surely."

He looked at her, trying to tell if she was mocking him, but she seemed almost
afraid of what was about to happen.

"I suppose you're right. You've never done me any harm, I'll say that much for
you. It's just this rigmarole that's getting to me and the fact that everyone
knows our business."

"A nine day wonder, nothing more," said Sarah gently.

"You're taking it all pretty calmly. I suppose you can't wait to be rid of me."

"I'll be glad when today's over, Tim, but I don't want us to stay enemies. I
admit I was really hurt when I found out what you were up to, and it really
knocked my self confidence for six, but I've had time to get used to the ideas
and I hope you're going to be happy from now on."

He looked at her for a moment, trying to assess her real feelings.

"You're a good person, Sarah. I've always thought that about you, but there was
something........I don't know what it was.......but we were never.......you
know......never totally comfortable, were we?"

Sarah looked away, not wanting to go on with the way the conversation was
heading.

"How's your Mum and Dad? Have you told them about us yet?" she asked, changing
the subject.

"Yes, we saw them when we.......when I.........," his voice trailed away when he
realised the implications in such a small word as "we".

Sarah looked down as a picture of Tim and Ann making love on her bed swam to the
surface of her mind, and then Olwen was by her side and, as their hands touched,
she grasped her tightly.

Tim looked into Olwen's eyes and finding little sympathy there, pushed himself
from the wall and moved across the corridor to a row of empty seats and, some
time later they were called into court and Olwen held onto her as they followed
Tim and their solicitors through the heavy oak doors.

When it was over the two drove into the city centre and had a light meal as they
mulled over the judgment. Sarah had wanted Joe Balfour to join them, but he had
met an old friend from his Law School days and told them to go along as he'd
some catching up to do.

The drive home began in silence and Sarah thought over the terms of her
settlement and the financial arrangement to which she had agreed. She would get
half the value of the York House and an entitlement to half their joint savings
and investments and to any personal belongings as Tim had agreed not to contest
the terms of her application and the case had been concluded fairly quickly.

Sarah felt a sudden emptiness as they drove west, along the M62, for she was now
completely alone, with no husband and no parents, and it wasn't until she saw
the road sign announcing Queensferry that she shook her head, to clear her mind,
pulled down the visor so that she could use the mirror to repair her make up and
uttered a deep sigh of relief.

"That's that then, Olwen," she announced with more certainty than she felt.

"Glad it's over, Sarah? It's been quite a day, hasn't it?"

"Yes. I'm all alone now aren't I? So I'll have no one but myself to blame if
things don't work out right, will I?"

"Alone? Rubbish! What about William and me, don't we count? And then there's
Johnny Owen. What about him, Sarah Thompson?"

Sarah felt her heart leap when she thought of Johnny for she'd tried her best
not to think of him all day, afraid to give away any signal to either Tim or his
solicitor or any look which might reveal how much in love she was with Johnny
Applepear.

She smiled when she remembered their snatched meetings and how she had ached
when he had told her that he wouldn't make love to her while she belonged to
someone else. Their meetings had been difficult, for they both felt an
overwhelming need for each other and, at times their dates had been almost too
hard to bear, and frequently Sarah had returned to Penmawr, aching with
unrequited passion and swamped by emotion.

She had found sleep only after quick, unsatisfying encounters with her fingers
and, as she had sobbed out her yearning hungers to the empty nights, she had
thought of his promise to wait until she was free and, at times, felt that she
was slowly going insane.

On their return to Conway, Olwen insisted that Sarah share a meal with her at
Bryn Aber but, when she tried to persuade her to spend the night there Sarah
declined, insisting that Penmawr was her home and that she was quite happy to be
there.

She arrived at the cottage at a little after 8.00pm and as she unlocked the door
she heard the telephone ringing.

"Penmawr Cottage."

"Hello Sarah, it's me," came Johnny's voice. "How did it go today?"

"It was awful Johnny," she said softly. "Like closing a book about your life and
filing it away somewhere in a dark cupboard."

"You sound very low, Sarah. Shall I come over there?"

"No. Not tonight, Johnny, you wouldn't like me in this mood and I'm not sure I
like myself at the moment."

"Did Tim make it difficult?"

"Not at all. He admitted his adultery and agreed to the arrangement, but he
looked different somehow, Johnny, as though he'd suffered a beating or a great
disappointment. I'd never seen him like that before."

"Perhaps his relationship with Ann isn't working out."

"I don't think it's that. It's as though he too sensed that part of his life was
over. Oh God, Johnny, I never want to go through that again as long as I live!"

There was a silence, and she could almost hear him thinking over what to say
next.

"Are you trying to tell me that things have changed for us too?" he asked
softly.

"I don't know what I'm saying Johnny. I'm so low at this moment that I don't
know what to do with myself."

She couldn't think of what else to say to him as the memory of Tim in the
corridor of the court house, all alone and seemingly friendless, depressed her
so much that she could think of nothing else.

"Don't worry, it'll pass. I just need a little time to come round and sort
myself out."

"How about a meal tomorrow night? There's a place a few miles inland where they
serve fresh trout and the best sweets in North Wales....."

"Not yet, Johnny. Give me a few days to think things through and then we'll try
a meal or something."

She waited for him to respond and when he didn't she said,

"Goodnight," and put down the phone.

She poured a drink and sat down in front of the empty fire grate. She was still
in her suit and didn't notice the cold and then she jumped when the phone rang
again and thinking it was Johnny she let it ring a while, but its persistent
tone was so irritating that she picked it up.

"Sarah?" said the voice.

Puzzled, she didn't respond immediately.

"Tim? What on earth do you want at this time?"

"I don't know, Sarah. I just had to speak to you. Are you alright?"

"I suppose so," she answered quietly.

"I wanted to get in touch with you for we left a lot of things unsaid this
afternoon," but Sarah didn't answer and after a silence he continued. "It was
kind of you to come over for a chat in the Court House. I didn't deserve that
and I know what an effort it must have been for you. Have you had a good night
then?"

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't ring earlier as I imagined you'd be out with Olwen and your friends,
celebrating your freedom."

"No. Nothing like that, I'm afraid. To tell you the truth I'm not in a
celebrating mood."

"Me neither," admitted Tim. "I feel a bit flat to be honest, and then I began to
wonder if you were all right." She didn't respond as a bubble of emotion seemed
to well up inside her and she reached for a tissue. "We made a right mess of it,
didn't we?" he continued. "Silly when you think about it. We'd everything going
for us and threw it all away."

"You did, you mean!"

"Come on, Sarah, the faults weren't just mine."

"No. I suppose not. But why Ann, Tim? Why my best friend?"

"It just happened. I don't know why. It was never planned that way. I didn't
deliberately set out to seduce her you know."

"But you still slept with her, didn't you? And she was happy to betray me."

"Only when things got really bad between you and me and not until then, I
promise you."

"Oh, what's it matter now, Tim? It's over and you've got what you wanted so
let's leave it at that, eh? At least Ann will be happy. A few months for the
decree Absolute to be served and you'll be free to get married again." Sarah
suddenly thought about what was happening and asked, "Does Ann know you're
talking to me, Tim?"

"She's away for a few days. She didn't want to be around when the case came up
as she thought it might ruin things for her if there was a slanging match, and
she was afraid it might get back to the Education Department and queer her job
prospects."

"What a pity she didn't think of that before it all happened."

"Is there anyone else in your life, Sarah?"

"What's it to do with you?" she snapped.

"Don't get me wrong. I still want things to be right for you. Divorce doesn't
stop me being concerned about you, you know."

"No need to worry about me, Tim, I'm fine."

"I hope we can still be friends, Sarah. We've been through a lot together and
you can't take that away, whatever we've done to each other since."

Sarah didn't reply for she was puzzled by his words and wondered if he was
feeling just the same as she.

"Are you still there, Sarah?"

"Yes, but I'm so tired, Tim. Let's call it a day, eh?"

"You will ring me if you need help, won't you?"

"Perhaps," she said. "Goodnight Tim. I hope everything works out for you despite
all this. Good luck."

"That means a lot to me, Sarah. Goodnight and I wish you luck too."

Later in bed Sarah thought over the strange conversation and came to the
conclusion that he was feeling very low too. She was glad that they'd talked and
that there was no ill feeling, recrimination or hatred between them. She
reasoned that he was perhaps ridding himself of guilt, and looking to her for
approval and, in her own way she needed to do the same for, since they're
parting her life had hardly been free of blemishes, and she tried not to think
about the sexual activities she had been party to over the last months.

Perhaps that's why she didn't want to see Johnny tonight. How would he feel if
he found out about her list of recent lovers? Would he be so keen to let their
relationship continue and develop if he knew about Martyn, John, Mike and the
others?

She saw their faces as she lay in her empty bed and began to cry as a powerful
surge of loneliness invaded her body and centered at the heart of her
depression. When the tears slipped down her cheeks she gave way to her grief and
cried for a long time and though she wasn't aware of them ceasing, after a while
a sense of calm came over her and she thought of Johnny Applepear.

She gave in to her need to speak to him and, without a thought as to the time or
what she was doing, she rushed downstairs to telephone his number.

"Hello," said a sleepy voice.

"Johnny. It's me! I had to hear your voice, Johnny. I couldn't sleep!"

"Sarah. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Johnny. I'm all right now."

"What's happened?"

"I've come to my senses, that's all. You're right, Johnny, we shouldn't be
afraid of the past."

"I told you it would be all right."

"I'm free, Johnny, isn't that what you wanted?"

"Do you want me to come over?"

"Of course I do, silly. Please hurry!"

The phone went dead and she hugged herself and smiled. She washed her face and
brushed her hair and lay in the big brass bed straining to hear the first faint
sounds of a car engine as it made its way through the dark winter night,
carrying her Johnny up the steep, narrow track towards Penmawr Cottage, her warm
bed and her welcoming arms.